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To win more negotiations, you should focus your thoughts. That’s to say, you should be very thoughtful of what you’re thinking during the negotiation, why you have such thoughts, and where those thoughts might lead. To do otherwise could mean you’re led haphazardly towards a negotiation outcome that doesn’t serve your goals of the negotiation. Observe the following to increase the focus of your thoughts in a negotiation.

Breaking News: Do you take note of how and when TV News organizations flash that moniker across/on the screen? At that moment they’re attempting to grab your attention from what you were focusing on and directing it to what they want you to focus on. In most cases, the breaking news is nothing that would really demand you lend your attention to, but they’ve captured your focus, which was their intent. If you raise your awareness to what’s being attempted by such ploys in a negotiation, you’ll focus your thoughts on not losing your focus per what’s important to your negotiation effort.

Be mindful of when timeouts are called:

When timeouts are called in a negotiation, note the reason cited for the timeout and assess the reasoning validity. As an example, if you happen to be winning the negotiation or a point in that process, and the opposing negotiator asks to take a break, he could be doing so to slow your momentum, take the time to gather additional insights/thoughts, and/or to refresh himself. All such insights will give you guidance per what may be occurring in his mind, as to the reasoning he called a timeout. Thus, it may or may not behoove you to grant his request, depending on how hard you wish to push at that time and/or what your next move is intended to achieve. The point is, be aware when there’s a shift in the negotiation and what may have occurred to cause it.

Diversions – Sizzlin’ Korean BBQ:

Take note of what the opposing negotiator is asking you to focus on. Question yourself, and possibly her, why she’s asking you to lend your attention to the point she’s highlighting. Note the same when you make a point and attempts are made to divert it. Ask yourself, why was my point given less credence? Why doesn’t she want to address my point and what implications does that have?

In a negotiation, the other negotiator may not tell you how to think, but he may attempt to direct your thoughts by suggesting what you should think about. In so doing, he’s controlling you and the negotiation. To the degree that you think of what you’re thinking about, why you have such thoughts and how those thoughts are aligned with the goals you seek for the negotiation, you’ll combat his efforts while promoting the outcome you seek.

By focusing on what you think about and why you have such thoughts, you’ll be in more control of the negotiation, which will allow you to win more negotiations… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Finally, I was able to do a first time presentation to an audience about the topic “Loving Your Neighbor”. The goal of my topic was to be able to explain the meaning of Christian love and to help us in applying in our daily lives.

I never hesitated when I was given the invitation to to be a speaker  from one (1) of the nine (9 ) series of talks on Christian Life Seminar (CLS). This activity is just one of the many programs of CFC FFL Singapore as an evangelistic and missionary community. It has been my thought principle to be able to make a little difference to my fellow people in everyday life. I knew God was the one who invited me to share my talent and be able to teach. You can never say no to Him, right? I remember Jim Rohn shared one of his philosophies. There are three (3) disciplines that you need to do if you want to pursue spiritual development:

1. Study – means you have to learn the disciplines, study the Holy Scriptures, attend seminars, and listen to sermons or preaching.

2. Practice – implement what you learn. Set a personal prayer time. Start to make a habit to pray with the family.

3. Teach – sharing what you’ve experienced from the first two (2) will accelerate the learning process.

Of course I accepted the responsibility. What should I do next? I want to share with you some practical steps about how I prepared to do my first time presentation:

1. Know your stuff – pick a topic that you are interested to share. In my case, the topic was handed to me by our service leader.  The nice thing about each particular topic was that you have a reference from previous speakers who have done the presentation. I borrowed their personal resource like PowerPoint, reference book, recorded audio and other stuffs that may be helpful. Ask and ask. Never be afraid to ask questions or tips that can help you in delivering a good presentation. Thanks also to my mom for helping me too. Do some extra research on the topic over the internet.  Another tip is to add some of your personal experiences or you can also borrow other person’s experience.
2. Practice – Rehearse out loud with your PowerPoint and tickler notes. I need to improve more on this one. A good idea is to record yourself either video or audio. I actually recorded the actual live presentation for my purpose of review and further improvement.
3. Relax and pray – having deep breathe-ins and breathe-outs will help relax and calm down the butterflies in your stomach. I know a friend who does some exercises to pump out the energy. Prayer is a very powerful resource to ease up tensions and build up confidence.
4. Visualize – Imagine yourself speaking your voice confidently to a large crowd. Visualize the audience clapping out loud. I must say that this is very effective and yes indeed it became true. They really did clap. They even gave me handshakes and gave uplifting praises. The feeling was awesome.

Some additional advice is to look directly to your audience faces  as if you’re speaking to a friend. It’s a good way to involve them in your conversation. Look for people who smile as they can help you gain your confidence. If you are nervous to look at their faces, just look straight to the wall on the level of their faces but it is really nice to have an eye contact with your audience.

Lastly, if you are given an opportunity to speak in front of an audience, never hesitate to volunteer. This is very effective in overcoming your fears of public speaking.